Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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