Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
