Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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