I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
