i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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