i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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