do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Send help, water and tortillas.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
