He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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