no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
