oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
