Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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