I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
