yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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