brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
