I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
