Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
