what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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