You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize