I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
