Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
