It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
