She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
