can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
