In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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