You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
