She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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