He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
