I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
