Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
