Cold hands, warm shart.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You took a bar mat shot.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
