So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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