when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
