Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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