My hair reeks of homosexuality.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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