You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
