what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
