I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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