Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
