He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
