I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
