Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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