That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
