You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
handjob tips. give me some.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
