That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm like, not good at living.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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