Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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