Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
