Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize