hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
