Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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