i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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