I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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