i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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