My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
