in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
