come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
