Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
