Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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