It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
