Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
