my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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