I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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