I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Randomize
