take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Couch. On fire.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize