I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
