marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
