I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
