Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
