I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
