How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
