I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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