I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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