I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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