I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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