Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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