i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
