Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
