I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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