I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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