big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
