sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
